Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
