it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
