You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
