Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
