Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
