U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
