My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
