Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
