dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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