On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
pop tarts are not kleenex
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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