like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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