It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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