Small penises have feelings too.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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