last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
