I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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