Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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