I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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