This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
