but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
