i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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