On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
ugly people sure do ruin things
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
