Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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