Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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