Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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