He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
