he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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