Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
