so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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