I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
