i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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