Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
