Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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