Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
