whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I wear drunk well.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
