Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
