taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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