I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is the high leading the old right now
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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