U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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