Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
