My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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