forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
