You can't motorboat a personality
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
