the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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