I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
