these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
