He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
