No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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