I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
