i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
