is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Randomize
