Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
is wine microwaveable?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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