I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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